The Fee Chronicles: 20 Icebreakers

My Fee @MissezTurner (you can check out here blog here) and I were having a conversation about dating new guys VERSUS being comfortable in relationships.  We were interrupted by a text message I received from a guy I am getting to know that said, “What do you like to do for fun?”  I expressed my disgust for answering such cliché questions and how I didn’t even want to continue the conversation because it's always the same thing over and over with every guy you meet.  We decided to come up with a set of some not-so-cliché icebreakers that are sure to spice up any first date or that awkward "getting-to-know-you" stage.  We’ve decided to answer the questions too, just for kicks!

This will be the first of many co-blogs from @MissezTurner and I which we shall call:

"The Fee Chronicles"

Don’t judge us by our answers…but you probably will anyway…

1.  What was the drunkest you've ever been and what did you do?

@LaunaKMonet  One word:  Tailgate but I’ll let @MissezTurner tell that story and I’ll talk about the time after that… When I was about 18 or 19 I got kicked out my house on Christmas and ended up bumming it on a couch at my friends dorm in Miami.  We decided to hit up this club called Rendezvous on the Lake and party the holiday away and this particular club had three flights of stairs.  I don't remember much of the night because it was mad blurry but I do recall not eating much that day and somehow, we ended up on the third floor of the club looking down at all of the people on the main floor.  I blacked out twice up there and we decided that it was time to go home.  I missed the first step and ended up falling down three entire flights of stairs.  My home girl was tried to help me and ended up falling with me too.  I was so gone that I wasn’t even embarrassed that the entire club witnessed me busting my ass, I just got up, dusted myself of and stumbled out the door.

@MissezTurner At one of the most hood parties I have ever been to in my life. We were 18, working as telemarketers, and  got invited to  an album release party for Lefty Gunz. Since we were young, and wanted to ensure that we had drinks, @LaunaKMonet  filled up two water bottles of Bacardi and Cuervo, and we downed both of these before we even set foot into the  club (We mixed these with NOS energy drinks which is why @MissezTurner got so messed up).  We went straight to the  bar and topped that off with screwdrivers (Because that’s the only drink we could think of off the top of our heads, being  underage).   After drinking those, we got blessed with some greenery from Lefty Gunz himself, and then we topped that off with Long Island Iced Teas (another one of the only drinks underaged kids know off the top of their heads).

This is where it starts to get fuzzy …

I remember sticking & rolling ( S/O to Dade County), lying on the couch in my short-enough-to-be-a-t-shirt-dress , my Boss stumbling over and telling me to get it together, @LaunaKMonet yelling saying “Fee, I’m going to  need you  to chill the  F*ck out,” (I only did that because I was trying to sober up too!!) and the spot lights during Lefty’s performance (We were later informed that there  weren’t any spot lights  in the venue).

I was so messed up that I let @LaunaKMonet drive my car home. I don’t let her anywhere near my keys sober. 

Anyway, I ended up throwing up in a Winn-Dixie Bag and waking up drunk the following morning to go to school.  Too bad I ended up driving home instead. 

 Follow up:

-What were you drinking that night?

@MissezTurner Everything.

@LaunaKMonet Vodka and something… don’t remember.

2.  What was the worst job you had and why?

@MissezTurner Burger King. Enough Said.

@LaunaKMonet McDonalds… they had me doing WAY TOO MUCH for $7.25 an hour.

Follow up:

-Have you ever been fired?

@MissezTurner Let’s just say my boss didn’t like me…

@LaunaKMonet yeah I got fired through e-mail once because they didn’t want to give me Christmas off…then he lied about it when I tried to claim unemployment.

3.  Who was the last person you deleted from your phonebook and why?

@MissezTurner Lol, he was saved as “Remi, Straight no Chaser,” After speeding off  from his  house in  the  middle of a date (that  I arranged) I realized  that  I had absolutely NO  reason for him to be in my phone. 

@LaunaKMonet  He’s saved as “Flaw Ass” now simply because he is FLAW and because I don’t want to accidentally pick up his calls, I don’t delete numbers anymore, I just save them under something that reminds me why I shouldn’t talk to him.

4.  What was the last text you sent last night?

@MissezTurner “Ok. I’m Leaving now”

@LaunaKMonet “My pleasure!! We had fun!!”

5.  What did you think about the Carter 4? (Seperate the lames from the real)

@MissezTurner Honestly, he should’ve  just  let Drake ghost write the  album.

@LaunaKMonet To be completely honest, I didn't listen to the entire album yet, I was going to buy it and @MissezTurner told me no.  After Sorry for the Wait I wasn't too eager to cop it, but he did sell damn near a milli the first week… so I’ll check it out…

 

6.  What was your first car? 

@LaunaKMonet I drove a 1995 Nissan Quest minivan, it was beige and the sliding door did not work but I was whippin’ it!

@MissezTurner 1995 White Chevy Cavalier that I paid for with my Burger King Money.  Good times.

7.  What was the best concert you've ever been too?

@LaunaKMonet , @MissezTurner and I went to a Waka Flocka Flame concert in this hood ass club for like $30.   It was the best concert of my life, I was so crunk and he had so much energy!

@MissezTurner I have paid like 200$ a  Drake concert, and this weekend, I  will be going to see J. Cole (Two of my favorite  rappers) but I will risk all of my Hip Hop credibility to say Waka Flocka  Flame was the LIVEST concert I have ever been to.

8.  Do you have any kids? (You've go to ask now a days...)

@LaunaKMonet No, I don't plan on having children out of wedlock.

@MissezTurner No. Knock  on wood. Twice.

9.  Ass or tities?

@LaunaKMonet *Big Sean Voice* Ass-ass-ass-ass-ass... lol

@MissezTurner    *Bubba Sparks voice* BOOTYBOOOTYBOOTYBOOTY ROCKING EVERYWHERE!!!

10.  Have you ever been arrested? 

@LaunaKMonet & @MissezTurner Luckily, no.

Follow up:

-What was your last run in with the police?

@LaunaKMonet Tuesday… I was going 68 in a 35…but in my defense I was coming down a bridge, EVERYONE’S car automatically accelerates when they are coming off of a bridge…

@MissezTurner  Saturday. Apparently,  hanging onto the side of a  vehicle in motion is illegal.

11.  What exactly are you looking for right now?

@LaunaKMonet Well, to be honest...shoot, I'm just trying to kick it right now!! Lol, seriously though, relationship-wise I want someone who is loyal, honest, ambitious, funny, respectful and faithful.

@MissezTurner Someone comfortable enough make me their housewife. I swear, I don’t mind.

12.  What website do you visit the most?

@LaunaKMonet (looks at most visited sites) Twitter, Blogger, LinkedIn, Model Mayhem, my email, Dormtainment.com, Blackgirlsareeasy.com and Facebook.

@MissezTurner  I don’t have cable, so Youtube is like the finest of Comcast packages right now.  After that, it’s Nahright.com, Facebook, Twitter, RapRadar.com  and Blackgirlsareeasy.com

13.  Do you have a Twitter/Facebook? (You can learn so much about a person from their photos)

@LaunaKMonet Duh….

@MissezTurner Who doesn’t?

14.  Are you a rapper, model, actor, entrepreneur, dope dealer, pimp, stripper, etc.

@LaunaKMonet  I model, act and write J

@MissezTurner Unfortunately , no.  But, If I’m under the influence, then possibly all of the above.

Follow up :  What is your back up plan in case that doesn't work out?

 @LaunaKMonet  I will either pursue a career in hospitality, broadcast journalism (after I get my Masters) or in PR/Marketing (which is what I received my bachelors degree in).  Always gotta have a Plan B!

15.  What is your government name?

@LaunaKMonet ... De’Launa…You can call me Launa.

@MissezTurner  It’s Jonel…Missez Turner if ya nasty. (I know…I couldn’t resist)

16.  What is your Zodiac sign?

@LaunaKMonet "Flirtatious like an Aries...."

@MissezTurner “Im a Capricorn.  I came here to get managed…”

17.  Can you do the Stanky legg?

@LaunaKMonet When I'm drunk lol, @MissezTurner can kill the stanky legg though.

@MissezTurner I can do the stanky-est of legs.

18.  Do you have any tats/piercings?

@LaunaKMonet 4 tattoos, 7 piercings

@MissezTurner 1

Follow up: What are they and where?

@LaunaKMonet Chinese symbol for strength/power on my foot, stars behind my ear, my zodiac sign on my rib and a black widow with a heart abdomen on my ring finger...as far as piercings, use your imagination. :)

@MissezTurner I have flowers up  my left side with  the Chinese symbol for beauty underneath. For one, it  keeps me in check when my self esteem isn’t the highest.  Secondly,   it reminds me that I cant get fat.

19.  Android or iPhone?

@LaunaKMonet Droid Droid Droid!

@MissezTurner Droooooooooooooid

Follow up: Mac or PC?

@LaunaKMonet Mac!!

@MissezTurner PC till I die!

20.  What do you think about Beyonce's pregnancy?

@LaunaKMonet  Beyonce is PERFECT.  * In my Kanye Voice * “Matthew taught you well!!”

@MissezTurner The Illuminati is watching.  I’ll keep my mouth shut on this one.

Try these questions out on your first date with some one new or while you're playing the "21 questions" texting game!  You'll know if you really want to continue seeing them after you do!!